By Musings No Comments
My general problem with monotheism is the way it leads people to seek a “singular” way to seek God. Many people end up studying the nature of their singular God, then trying to reflect it, and criticizing any deviation from their limited perception of “goodness” in themselves and others.
It’s not a matter of “Is there one God or not?” Such questions are beyond us. But even if we are to presume there is only one God, not a single one of us is capable of understanding the nature of God, nor reflecting its totality in ourselves. The best we can do is to embrace the gifts we were given, and offer those gifts to others, while equally appreciating the gifts that were given to others, and humbly accepting when others offer their gifts to us. Simply put, it is humble, loving, and most importantly, honest, to admit that we don’t know what “Godliness” means in totality, and that no singular one of us is capable of reflecting goodness in all aspects.
Personally, I prefer to focus on studies that are clear to my own eye, rather than pie-in-the-sky theories about God and otherworldly entities. If we are created in God’s image, then it makes sense to embrace the philosophy “As above, so below.”
So, that leads me to embrace the study of archetypes. In this study, many aspects of life are considered equally worthy of veneration and criticism. There’s still room for monotheism here – because, in the end, the ideal is to achieve a balance of all the archetypal energies. Thus a social circle is most Godly if there is a respectful balance of different archetypal energies among the people.
Some people may specialize in specific archetypal energies while others may balance many energies by themselves. Either style is fine, because the end goal is for the whole world to balance itself. For example, someone like me might specialize in Eros energy, while someone else may specialize in Pragma energy, and then the two of us balance each other simply by existing in the same social circle, and influencing the circle, without having to change our own focus. By learning to embody the higher vibration of the energy that speaks to us, and allowing it to resonate through us, we influence others to experience that energy in a more wholesome and beautiful way.
This is why I see myself as a vessel through which Eros emerges, and why I strive to embody the highest possible vibration of Eros. Equally, I welcome challenges that emerge from people who embody other energies. May we each refine one another!!
In my community – which values and studies archetypes – I’ve found that the gifts of our own nature end up being useful and inspiring to others. To take this further, the most essential key to my personal ‘religion’ would be to encourage people to recognize and embrace their true nature, and to understand that this nature is one among many which all have potential to vibrate on high frequencies and contribute valuable lessons to the rest of us. This way, there may be self-love and appreciation for ourselves just as we are, as well as harmony between people with many different gifts. But we also may critique ourselves and each other — not by shaming one another for who we are, but rather, by asking ourselves and each other: are you embodying the highest potentials of your archetype? (Needless to say, it is only possible to address this if we all agree to take the study of archetypes seriously and focus on authentic discernments between them, so we gain distance from personal criticism by honoring the archetypal ‘scripture’ which we all interpret together, and use equally to measure our progress.) This leads to a more natural path to self improvement. We are not asking anyone to be something other than they are, but simply helping them to recognize their gifts and encouraging them to embrace them more astutely. If we all strive to do this, then in the end, the group balances many archetypes, and that balance reflects God.

Eros vs. Perversion

By Musings No Comments

On social media, I made the case that a healthy relationship with one’s own eros was an essential component to a healthy marriage. Some people disagreed and believed eros runs out after a few years, and pragma is a healthier basis for a marriage. I was also challenged, essentially, to differentiate eros from perversion. This was my response:

It’s very hard to articulate an adequate response to this in a singular post, as there are a lot of premises people tend to take for granted in these discussions which need to be covered. (I’m not presuming which premises you personally might take for granted; these are deeply human issues and I’m sure many people have thought about it from many angles.) It would be more appropriate for me to write a book or an essay on this, considering how many angles I’ve thought about. I probably will do that. But for now, I’ll try to cover the basics. I apologize in advance if I fail to articulate it on my first try.

So let’s start with this: “Eros exists. So where do we go from there?”

It is apparent throughout history that cheating is very common. We all know the age-old tale of couples getting married just based on pragma alone, and then finding erotic pleasure outside the home. Thus the warm, stable marriage which “makes logical sense” and “works dutifully” is so often wrecked by cheating and distrust, not to mention extreme resentment. In worst case scenarios, there have been stories where the resentment around “being stuck with this person” who is not fulfilling one’s erotic needs may lead to abuse or, worse, one spouse poisoning the other.

Beyond marriage, there are also many symptoms in society of misguided Eros. Porn is a symptom of misguided Eros, as well as Tinder, dating-fucking culture, etc. Religions and lifestyles tend to form as reactions to other religions. Our society was heavily religious and sexually repressed, so in reaction the left formed their own religion which worships the lewd and crude. But what they are doing is very far from Eros. Going to a kink-fest is not erotic in the wholesome and natural sense — that’s a social event with many rules of engagement. Watching porn is also not erotic in the wholesome sense. As for the gay culture, you can’t even talk to them without memorizing a bunch of pronouns that constantly change with the wind.

The idea that we can’t show breasts or nudity without sexualizing it, makes it “taboo,” and causes people to fetishize the human body. This isn’t necessary. If the body and nudity were not “taboo” in normal life, and there was not a constant battle between absolute disgusting debauchery vs. a far-right religious effort to repress erotic hunger, nudity and embodied beauty altogether, perhaps we’d find a more sane, healthy expression of Eros.

Of course, I’m exaggerating both sides of this to make a point. The left is not ONLY debaucherous and the right is not ONLY repressive. But to express the problem with the trend I must present two sides of the dichotomy. Right now, there is no healthy cultural expression of eros and spontenaeity. That’s where I agree with the article I posted, called “Carpe Diem.” There’s one group rebelling against the repression of Eros by being disgusting and making a bunch of rules around how disgusting you’re allowed to be, and another group telling you sexuality or eroticism is only allowed to exist in this one limited spot, and all other expression of it is forbidden. This is *quite evidently* not productive. As you said, the proof is in the pudding.

The question is not: “How do we get rid of Eros?” — History and human nature make it apparent that we cannot. The question is: “What do we do with Eros in a productive way?”

Humans were given Eros for a reason. We crave it for a reason. Are we to say it’s corrupt; an inherently corrupt part of our “bad” nature, or is it a biological imperative that has helped people in some way? I would suggest the latter, and I cannot think of any logical premise upon which to disagree. If we are made in God’s image, then something so basic and enduring as Eros must have been gifted us for a reason. And if one is to say “God gave us Eros so that we’ll repress it and fight against our nature” — I would be the first to reject such a God, as I’d rather burn in hell than worship someone so cruel.

So I, personally, am a very libidinous and passionate person by nature – but I am turned off by porn, to the point I watched a few minutes once in a friends’ dorms and found myself shaking under the covers. It grossed me out on a systemic level. I’ve had relationships where I connect very deeply to the person and keep them as a friend for life, and married my soulmate — who I recognized as such within days of meeting (and then asked him to marry me). Six years later we’re still thriving, madly in love, and supporting each other. We have a great group of friends, get along with each other’s family, etc. So embracing my erotic and full-bodied attraction to him immediately, clearly worked.

But this is not an accident. I trained myself to do this. It is a result of a life of astute study of myself, psychology, and passion.

Since I recognized the danger of eros, even in the first book I ever wrote at age 11-12 about a prostitute – I spent a great deal of time considering productive and heartfelt ways to honor my passion. And it has worked. I can sense quite quickly who I am attracted to on a deeper level; who I connect with; and for me this process of connection is highly erotic. (Even for friends, though please do not read that as “highly sexual,” as I am not preying on my friends.) I am not tricked by “good looking body parts,” which is not to say that I am not attuned to beauty — because I am. But I’m aroused by the deeper process of connecting to someone’s mind and soul; that said, their body is a vessel through which their soul emerges, so small things like how my partner sits or smiles can drive me wild. And after many years of studying my own patterns, studying others, studying psychology and romance itself – I fell into a natural groove which allowed me to understand instantly when my heart gravitates to ‘the right people.’ This helps with friendships too; as healthy Eros also exists in healthy friendships. Eros, in greek, literally means “flow.”

And having embraced a higher vibration of Eros, it made natural intuitive sense to me when my friend from Greece explained that it meant flow. Erotic passion and flow are indeed, one and the same. Rules and regulations often disrupt one’s natural ‘flow,’ so life is always a dance between ethics and flow, passion and reason; the two must be balanced.

Society offers many paths to repress Eros, and also many paths to pervert our sexuality (which is another form of repressing the natural flow that God gave us). My suggestion is that, as a society, we start learning the difference between higher-vibration Eros and perversion. This is the only way we will ever find a healthy balance; for , simply telling people to ‘stop acting on desire’ has never worked historically. Desire always comes back to roost, and once it has been repressed, it comes back in a much more ugly and destructive way.

God is Love

By Diary No Comments

my rant about what God really is, and how it doesn’t matter what you ‘believe’ — inspired by my friend solly who is an absolutely amazing person, and an atheist.

i personally don’t have much need for anyone to believe the same things i believe
i was raised atheist
so actually it would be helpful if i had stayed atheist. then i’d be in the same boat as my family and we could all live happily ever after in blissful agreement
but i had psychic experiences early on
but at the same time
if i would find out tomorrow that im not psychic and it was all fake and God doesnt exist
my life would be largely the same….
because for me God isn’t an abstraction
its just a name i am giving to the feeling i’ve always had, of connectivity, vibrations, rhythm of the world, connection to nature, mirroring
maybe you could say “Erica has strong Mirror Neurons” and call it a day
but whatever you call it, doesn’t matter
doesn’t change the essence of the thing
so i’m not hung up about people interpreting their experiences differently than i do
solly can be an atheist but he experiences connection, I’ve experienced it with him, i feel it in his music, and we both felt it together in the game, and in many of our other conversations
so really his life experience is not ESSENTIALLY that different from mine.
in fact, its more similar to mine than most people here
because we both navigate music similarly and that is core to my existence, it’s my first language
so if he speaks “music” – the universal language – then our language is one and the same….
i don’t really give a crap if his “world view” is different than mine, i still feel at one with his heart and soul in the moments we share music and connect
if he doesn’t believe in God or psychics its not a threat to me
like, i’d be hurt if he told me i’m crazy or stupid but he hasn’t and wouldn’t
but its all the same to me, if music is his God. it was mine for the majority of my life
as a kid i had that line from les mis in HUGE letters i wrote and hung over my closet: “To love another person is to see the face of God”
and music helps me communicate that love, that emotion, that connection
so to me that IS God. love is God. music is the word of God. as is nature.
solly experiences music and love and nature as deeply as i do, communicates with music as deeply as i do, so who gives a flying fuck if he calls it “God” or not?
thats semantics
if you TRULY experience God, you feel it in everyone. not just in people who verbally confirm that they believe the word “God” is a real thing
if you TRULY open your heart to God, you also open your heart to every person you meet. of course, it’s wise not to spill your secrets to randos. but you can still feel their humanity.
and you can repeat the word all you want. “God.” “Jesus.” “Allah.” “Buddha.” “Nature.” “Spirits.” “Ghosts.”
but it means nothing if you cannot feel the heart of the person in front of you
its just words, ramble and lies
so to me
its irrelevant what someone believes. it’s interesting conversation at best, and it is definitely fun, enlightening, thought provoking and intimate to talk about that stuff
but in the end it’s more relevant that we feel each other’s heart and communicate our own
that’s what God is
if you can’t connect to the people around you, and you’re using the idea of “God” as a replacement for connection
in my view… you might as well be an atheist
because that connection is fake. you’re connecting to an abstraction in the air
to put it into practice… love an animal. love a person. love your garden. love yourself.
solly’s love is more powerful than 100 religious textbooks.
just ask his dog.
ask his friends here, who he has supported when he’s weak, suffering, sick and in pain
if theres no one who can say this about you (and im not talking to anyone in particular, im talking general “you”) then perhaps reconsider whether you really experience God.
if you do, you know what im talking about.
and you would be able to love and resonate with an atheist just the same, if the atheist has love in their soul. you’d still look in their eyes and see God.


By Diary No Comments
It’s my birthday. And the 25th anniversary of the day my health began to decline… on my 16th birthday. My voice was never the same from that day, and it became worse and worse, until it was gone forever.
I’m surprised I lived this long. At first I thought I’d burn myself out while the flame was young and hot, because there was no life for me without singing. I sacrificed my childhood practicing and obsessing over music, and without that, I had literally nothing to offer this world. Nothing I wanted to do for work, nothing I was good at, nothing inside me that anyone would care about. I had only two beautiful features – my voice and my hair. Both were gone.
Singing was my only pipeline to Earth, the only way I could communicate my passion, or even get a hold of it. Between my anger at my losses, my shame at having nothing to offer, and my fear that I’d lost my autonomy and could never be a desirable partner… I was certain I would burn up from within, and my unfulfilled desire would consume me alive. So why not rush face first into the flame, and learn what I’m made of?
I survived the throes of addiction, voracious sexuality, and wild adventures in dangerous places. I pulled myself together over and over, only for the illness to rear its head and take everything away from me, all over again. Sometimes I thought I’d die from terrifying symptoms that easily kill people. Other times I thought I’d lose the will to fight this uphill battle with no chance to build something for myself. How could I go on, knowing all I am is a leech, dependent and incapable, forcing others to work to keep me alive? And even when I can work, it’s something replaceable, that any jackass could do. What could I bring to this world that justifies the plants and animals I eat? What excuse do I have to take and take and take, just to survive?
Yet through all this, something kept me going. It was the vision I had when I was 21, of a fantasy series. I was a terrible writer, but for many years I have worked for several hours every day, through thick and thin. Now I feel I’m honing a craft, and my passion is flowing.
I’m terrified of losing this. If my series doesn’t sell, I’ll be forced to work some job I hate, which won’t last anyway because of my health – and I’ll never have the chance to pursue writing, now that I developed a flow. But every day, I wake up and I just can’t wait to write, edit, scrutinize, or devour the next page. If only my characters can come to life, I’ll surrender my all.
On top of that – my friends, my family, and my husband have saved my life. You have all believed in me, and if you hadn’t, I might not be here today. Thank you for sticking by me through the throes of trauma and loss, sharing your own with me, and believing in me. There are no words to express how lucky I am to have such inspiring, big-hearted people in my life. I didn’t deserve a family as wonderful as mine, and yet, there it is.
I’m looking to release the first book in the series, this coming Valentine’s Day. Though I have a long way to go to be half as fluent in English as I was in the language of music, I can’t believe how much I’ve improved. It really feels like I’ve done the impossible – a miracle more fortuitous than singing through my whisper. I feel entirely grateful for every breath I take on this beautiful planet. I forged myself in the flame of suffering, and I’ll do it over and over, just for the beauty and love that makes it all worth it.

Art of Seduction

By Musings No Comments
Someone asked me recently to break down the book, The Art of Seduction, by Robert Greene.
Many children are flirtatious, even before becoming sexual. Flirting is as natural as breathing, as people feel elated by connecting with others. Society demands we keep those impulses to ourselves, and maintain boundaries and dignity. To seduce someone, we must give them a place to set their instincts free.
The book specifies that its topic is seduction, not empathy or successful relationships. In practice, one does not come at the expense of the other, but to explore the principle of seduction at its essence, one must isolate it from goodness, empathy, marriage, and money. After all, many people do not seduce with hopes of a relationship. Some don’t even want sex but rather, attention. We cannot assume that because someone seduces, they desire wealth, a white picket fence, and a promise of forever.  We cannot even assume they want sex, although seduction is suggestive of sex.
In French, an orgasm is called la petite mort. ‘The little death.’ To lose yourself in Eros is to die and be reborn. Eros is a destructive, fiery energy. It unmakes you and remakes you.

And that’s the aim of seduction. Unmaking someone, to remake them again. They will crave more of this, as it lifts them away from the mundane. Seduction is about harnessing eros energy.
The book gives many examples of this. It focuses on embodying the archetypal. Primal archetypes infiltrate the unconscious, where conscious barriers and resistance cannot go.
Everyone puts up barriers and resistance to being seduced, or losing themselves. It is a total loss of power and control. When we are obsessed with someone romantically, we are consumed by a force outside us, someone we cannot control. We can’t force them to be loyal, to want us, to cherish us. Being seduced is dangerous.
Thus, seduction focuses on lowering someone else’s resistance to this. Some seducers might do this by chasing relentlessly. (The archetype of the Rake.) Others might do it by embodying a primal carnal energy that seeps into the target’s awareness on a level they are not quite conscious of.
One might protest: Ok, so you embody an archetype? That’s fake!
The irony is, it isn’t. The truth is that you do tap into certain archetypal energies. Everyone does. But to harness your seductiveness, you would simply be more willing to display them.
That’s right… it’s more honest. At least for me. Instead of keeping those more primal associations to myself and wearing a normie suit, I wear them on my sleeve. And then I pull someone into a world where they, too, feel like they embody an archetype. Is this manipulative? Well perhaps, but it’s equally manipulative to expect someone to wear a normie suit and do normal things, as dictated by society. The way I see it, I’m tapping into my own – and the other person’s – most primal and honest energy. That is what the book invites people to consider.
Being seductive will make people hate you (out of envy) and fear you (because losing themself is dangerous). Are you willing to make that sacrifice in order to embody more of your own power? Only you can decide.

Self Publishing

By Musings No Comments

The main reason I want to self publish is so my characters can be complex, and can evolve in a way that feels organic to me, as a writer – without having rules imposed on them because of their race, gender or creed. It is a fantasy novel, but I still describe my characters, and honor their journeys in a human way. If I can’t do that, I don’t see the point in writing. Therefore, I can’t endure “sensitivity readings.”

To give an example of what I’m up against: I have deep characters of all races. Modern “sensitivity reading” rules would say you can’t describe a black person’s skin as “mocha” because it reduces them to a food. However they have no problem with “vanilla” for white people. And the only alternative they offer to “mocha” is “brown” or “tan.” Worse yet, if your black character is too nice and good, like a sage, it’s offensive because it’s a trope. If she’s too traumatized and makes big mistakes, it’s offensive because she’s a bad stereotype.

When I went on forums to read about this, many black people signed in saying that personally, they were more offended seeing white people described as “vanilla” and other romantic words, while they themselves were only getting words like “brown.” They PREFERRED “mocha,” and things like this, because it’s more romantic. However, others did prefer “brown.” But the general sentiment was “I don’t get why white people care about this so much. To each their own.” Some also mentioned that they prefer having characters who look like them, who are complex and real – like anyone would. Yet, despite the mixed responses among real people whose races are being described, publishers will not publish you if you break many, many rules about how you’re allowed to handle a character of a particular race.

I can’t do this. I need my characters to be REAL. My White, Black, Asian, and Indian characters all have complex personalities and traumas. Some overcome, and some don’t, and it is unrelated to their skin color. I need it to stay that way.

Many publishers, sensitivity readers and writing forums are now suggesting that people don’t describe their characters’ skin, or appearance, at all! But this doesn’t work for me either. I’m a very visual person, who loves people with extreme vigor. So my descriptions of people tend to be poetic, honorable, and symbolic, describing things about their physique or the impression they leave, which leave a strong and poetic impression of the person. Removing their physical appearance defeats the purpose of writing, or having characters, since part of the experience is being immersed in those sensory impressions.

To me, it’s a moral imperative to honor the beauty, complexity, and journey of all my important characters, regardless of what they look like. My books are extremely “character” oriented. They cover themes like trauma and recovery, religious realization, coming of age, love lost, mourning and guilt, self-discovery. I need room for my characters to breathe.. to evolve naturally… without carefully stepping around parameters imposed on them by people who think everything is about race, and who get offended by something they do, based on their gender or creed. It is against my principles to dehumanize people this way, so I feel I need to self publish at least for now.

I would not condone publishing themes that REALLY were amoral, if I had a publishing company of my own. But I guess my morality is just not the same as the common ones today. To me, those seem arbitrary, dehumanizing and restricting.

Conflict is Natural Law

By Musings No Comments
Many people believe good will win – but I believe nature will win, and nature is a battle for survival. At the core of all living beings is a fear of death and an instinct to preserve life. This motivates them to fight for survival through any means necessary. Even the trees compete for a patch of sunlight.
For most of us, these battles are local, though we still kill plants and animals to survive. For others, the battle extends further, to war, murder and domination – and the rest of us scramble to be on the side that we believe will preserve the things we hold dear – be it our livelihood or our morals.
Conflict is natural law. Good will not prevail, and evil will not prevail. The only thing that will win or lose is survival. And once humans die out, animals will fight for dominance. The fight isn’t over until the universe (or the multiverse) disappears. Then, all boundaries will evaporate, and all will be One.

Original Sin & Leftism

By Musings No Comments

Modern leftism is a religion, based in guilt – and our society was bred for this type of movement.  At our roots, we are a Christian society.  The fundamental message we are taught is to feel guilty because Jesus suffered and died for our sins, and to get down on our knees and pray.  Likewise, the Leftist religion teaches that black slaves, Native Americans and Mexicans suffered and died for our sins. The message is that we came here and enjoyed greed and gluttony while they were made to suffer.  Thus we should feel guilty for the sins of our ancestors and we should get on our knees, bow for the liberal doctrine, and donate money to those members of government who will solve these issues.  Once we donated to the church, and now we donate to Democrats – because we are taught to believe that we are fundamentally flawed, and we need to give everything to an organization who will fix our problems.

This is why personally I abhor the idea of original sin. It creates a slave mentality through guilt. A religion like taoism asks you to think. But as a Christian society, we are conditioned into a slave mentality, as a society. So we voluntarily apologize for sins our ancestors committed.  White people in huge hordes are literally getting on their knees before black people and apologizing.  Guilty people are donating all their money to blm without even realizing that this money goes straight to rich, white democrats. They don’t even bother to ask – they just put the money in the bucket and get on their knees.  Then they point fingers at people who don’t follow suit, because they are sinners (now known as ‘racists’).

I can appreciate Jesus, but the religions of guilt and original sin, praying on your knees and giving money to corrupt organizations to ‘fix’ this, has set a precedent for how the left behaves today.  And that’s why the religion of leftism works.  Once, many members of our society were indoctrinated by churches and catholic schools; now, we are indoctrinated in public schools.  And so we believe everyone in society is a sinner (a racist) – and give to the big Daddy who can fix society’s problems.  Priests took advantage of little boys whose parents donated money to them, and Democratic governors exploit the black voters who elected them to run blue cities.

These mythologies centered on ‘original sin’ (the Christian bible and the Leftist bible) are both drawing on natural human emotions – but we are conditioned, as a society, to fall in line with the idea that we are ‘fundamentally flawed’ as a people.  We are conditioned to shame the people who don’t get on their knees and express guilt simply for existing.  Any society who is dominated by guilty sinners on their knees praying to God can also breed hordes of Leftists on their knees apologizing for their ancestors’ wrongs.

Any God that makes me bow on my knees is no God of mine. I call that a tyrant. In my world, my relationship with God makes me greater and wiser, not smaller and more obedient. 

And that’s why I was the first of my friends to see through this crap and why I’m not conditioned to fall for it. When I see  people forcing conformity and using guilt tactics, I associate it with Satan rather than with God.  And I believe that is one reason why I can’t be brainwashed.

Apocalyptic Lullaby

By Poetry No Comments

Sixty days to slow the spread
Sixty nights to mourn the dead
The world is overcome with dread
While time marches on.

With no commitments to obey
Home is the prison of the day
The mind is left to gnaw away
As time marches on.

Abusers reign with fists and rape
Their victims now have no escape
Society is losing shape
As time marches on.

The internet explodes with fear
While media is insincere
Saving accounts disappear
As time marches on.

“Trump is an abusive clown!”
“Bill Gates wants chips to track us down!”
“China needs to burn and drown!”
The hatred marches on.

Stuck at home inside their brains
The masses need someone to blame
It’s safer than to face their pain
The anger marches on.

To sit alone and contemplate
Reminds a person of their fate
All will soon disintegrate
As time marches on.

So let us protest
Let us fight
Let us blame someone tonight!
Let us fear
Let us win
The wounded love the taste of sin
To be alone
To be alive
“At least it wasn’t me who died!”
Roar, fuck, fight, swoon
The world will open very soon!

To the office they return
Fighting for the lives they earn
With votes to cast and bills to pay,
No time to think of yesterday

The dead are gone
The end is nigh
The sun explodes
We say goodbye
Apocalyptic lullaby
Time marches on.

Clothing Trends

By Musings One Comment

Clothing trends for both men and women are degrading in different ways, and also arbitrary.

Neither gender necessarily looks better than the other in dresses and skirts. In some countries men wear kilts. Historically, shoes with heels were FIRST made for men, and later became a trend for women. During various times in history, men wore robes, skirts and tights. In some cultures, men were expected to be more dressed up than women.

There is no reason why a man who dresses up should be called gay or effeminate, and why mens’ clothes should be so fucking boring. When you go to a wedding, the women all have different dresses but there’s only one shape suit that a man can wear. There is no good reason for this, except that society is telling men they should all be uniform and the same, like the army. The message is that the only thing men are good for is lining up like soldiers and fighting for women and children. Mens’ beauty, and value, should not be celebrated.

Of course, in Hollywood mens’ beauty IS celebrated, but I’m talking about day to day life, for people who aren’t rich. Culture has trained us unconsciously to think of men as soldiers who are meant only to defend us and have no intrinsic interest or value. The same way women can be seen as prostitutes, men are sent to die.

Now I’m not saying that men should “dress like women.” The fact that people might read this and think “Oh so you want a man to look feminine” IS the problem. Being boring isn’t masculine.

The problem is today, we have two affordable choices. Men can wear the same degrading clothes that women wear, which make it difficult to walk and move, or they can wear boring ugly trendy common clothes. In other time periods this was not the choices. You could be a man with flair, color and style, without being thought of as “looking like a woman.”

On the other side of things, womens’ trends are explicitly degrading. Almost everything that is considered “hot” is something that cripples a woman. For example, oversized boobs – this hurts womens’ backs and makes it harder to move around. High heels – makes it hard to walk, run, fight, or defend yourself. We have only barely moved past things like the trend in China where womens’ feet were bound. Any trend that is popular for women is one that cripples them.

Aside from high heels and constricting uncomfortable clothing, women are expected to wear at least minimal makeup at a normal job. This makes someone’s skin get worse over time. It also forces her to spend all this money on makeup she might not necessarily enjoy, and makes her spend TIME preparing her face which is probably fine just the way it is.

It’s one thing to wear makeup for fun – as a man or a woman – and I have no issue with it. But being expected to uphold a trend where you cake your face in foundation each day just so you’re accepted at the office, is degrading. Wearing foundation and makeup every day takes a toll on a woman’s skin, not to mention it takes time out of her day and prevents her from doing something interesting, productive or important. When you add up all the time women spend putting on and taking off makeup just to be accepted in an average setting, you might come up with a huge number over the course of a year. Imagine if that time could be spent, say, writing a book?

But that’s still not nearly as offensive as the “heels” that make people walk like a chicken, or “big fake boobs” that hurt their back. Also, clothes that make it hard to move.

There are many ways to dress up super fancy and sexy without restricting yourself, but they’re hard to find. I’ve been very creative and determined in searching out a wardrobe that is both sexy and functional. And that’s sad — if women weren’t culturally pushed to be crippled, this would be the norm. Compare the way we dress to ancient Egyptians, compare our weddings to Indian weddings, compare our wardrobes to Native Americans. Imagine someone looking back on this in 500 years. They would say “Those people in the 2000’s had no taste.” It’s shameful, really.