Protagonist: Average guy. A little nerdy, fun, nice, but nothing special. Likes computers and video games. Generally decent person but doofy. Alpha NT.
Love interest: Beautiful woman. Too good for him. Two personalities are possible here.
Motherly, kind, giving Alpha SF who challenges him to be a better human.
Princessy, wild Ne lead who engages flights of fancy and inspires him, but can’t be tied down. Dreamy.
Story goes one of two ways:
Protagonist individuates through specific feats. May include beating up jocks, heroic acts, doing kind things for others, self-sacrifice, getting out of his head into his body, accomplishing something specific, saving children. Woman who was once ‘too good for him’ finally falls in love with him.
Exactly the same plot, except there’s a Gamma SF “dark, sensual temptress” with cigarettes and blood in her mouth, and black leather boots, tempting him. In the end, he resists this temptation in order to be loyal to the “Good” Alpha woman.
Now, allow me to decode this lie.
The “Average Guy” myth.
Some Alpha NT’s may believe they are the “average guy,” and this concept may really ring true for them. However there are lots of other guys who are just as common.
The “All men like Certain types of women” myth.
Since the Protagonist is not “average” more than any other type of guy, the type of woman he wants is also not more desirable to the average man than any other type of woman.
The “Madonna vs. Whore” myth.
Most women are a mixture of both. We are biologically programmed to love, to enjoy sex and to procreate; and as a species we are programmed to think and develop our own interests.
The “Guy has to win over a woman” myth.
Some women know what they want and can’t be “won over.” Also, women have to better themselves to be deserving of good men, too. We all need to individuate.
The bottom line: There’s nothing essentially wrong with this narrative – in fiction or reality – as long as it is understood as one type of narrative among many. There’s nothing “average” about it. It’s just one story.
There is no “real self” underneath the masks we wear, aside from archetypal themes each individual falls into, which others have occupied repeatedly throughout time. There is nothing unique and individual under the sun, but our potentials exist within a certain axis. At our best we would “align” with a cosmic purpose that our character is able to channel or fulfill. At worst we would separate ourselves from that and force ourselves to enact a rhythm that is unnatural for us, thus falling out of harmony with the world. The “real self” is not something “under” our masks, but rather something that we must strive to become.
The deepest “illusion” we fall prey to is that we’re separate from the cosmos; that our individual life is an independent entity. It is a biological imperative to feel this way, because it results from fear of death which feeds our survival instincts. Due to fear of death, we lie to ourselves in a desperate attempt to individuate. But true individuation and realization occurs when we realize death is just part of a cycle. We all know this intellectually, but we feel it when we are aligned with a greater purpose, and we see our influence conjoined with others to contribute to the collective. Anything less than that, and the only thing we can do is make our lies bigger and louder, to feel like we matter on our own.
The idea that we possess a true self “beneath the masks” implicitly separates us from alignment with the whole. Its a lie we tell ourselves which feeds our survival instincts, but weakens our awareness. If we conceive of the masks as an expression of self, then we come closer to acknowledging that our performance in the world is fulfilling our connection to the greater scheme, which is the most honest thing we can do. Humanity will last longer than any single one of us. We are each one note in a cosmic song. Playing the wrong note “just to stand out” – or feeling like our real note is something other than the one people are hearing – is clinging to an illusion.
There is a real self, but it’s not separate from presentation; rather, presentation is the path toward actualizing it, so that the idea of self is not just empty chatter. Some people believe their real self lies beyond the masks they wear, yet fail to realize this type of chatter can be empty even if they keep it to themselves. They have a narrative or some amorphous sense of “who they are ” that they think they’re hiding from the world, but it is merely a fantasy. A lack of words or “keeping it hidden” doesn’t actually protect this narrative from being false. It just heightens the sense that the “presentation” is separate from the “real” identity, which is a lie, so the lies build upon lies until nothing is real.
To me, we are all animal, human and symbol. The animal is our instincts, which are the same for everyone. The human is the mind that decides what we will do and who we will be. The symbol is the impression we leave behind for others. Many of us try to control that image, but the symbol is out of our control. The collective will see us how it sees us. We can’t control that, but we can control our actions which lead to choices, which then leave an impression. If we align our animal instincts with our human mind, achieving inner balance, its very likely the way we see ourselves will match how others see us.
Having opinions about people — a topic that has been on my mind recently.
People often have opinions about other people. Like what they just did was rude. What a jerk! Etc. I often don’t have the same type of knee jerk reactions, because for me there’s a wider perspective and context.
Let’s use an example: my accountant doesn’t say hello or goodbye. He just gives you the numbers and hangs up. Others might call this rude but I call it sensible and economical – he saves several seconds each phone call by doing this. Add that together and you have a lot of time saved on the job. People might think it’s funny that he doesn’t know how to “human,” but I disagree. He “humans” by making a living and setting his own terms.
We live in a society where it is considered normal to watch tv, smoke, get drunk, have several kids we can’t afford. So in order to have a negative opinion about someone who hangs up the phone too fast, a lot of presumptions need to be made about my mindset. For me to hone in on someone who is doing something you don’t see every day, and say that it’s “rude,” I’d have to start with the basic premise that the things people do every day are “not rude,” or, “compassionate.” Smoking is not compassionate to anyone in the room. Drinking is not compassionate toward your loved ones. Watching tv is a waste of life and it makes ones’ skills at “humans” much weaker, as it subtracts time that could be spent talking to people face to face.
So for me to make snap judgments about people, let’s put this in perspective.
A guy is defensive on the internet. What a jerk! I should hate this moron! Ok, hold up: We are all reading posts on the internet rather than doing something productive. Let’s start with this basic premise and sit with it for a moment before continuing to spout accusations. “I am here on the internet reading a complete stranger’s post and reacting to it without seeing his facial expression.” Fact. I sit with that fact.
This is not a lecture on judgment. I really don’t give a shit. If I hate someone at first sight then so be it. Nobody deserves a second chance, the benefit of the doubt or anything else. I have no guilt about how I do or don’t feel about someone.
But in order to jump to the kind of snap judgments people often expect, a lot of pre-determined premises have to be established. For instance, before I can say it’s rude that someone didn’t say hi, I need to agree that saying ‘hi’ is productive, genuine, worthwhile, etc. And in many cases I don’t believe that these social rules ARE productive, genuine, worthwhile…. in many cases I don’t see the point of them. So, while I may engage them myself in order to save myself from potentially annoying consequences, I won’t judge someone negatively for shunning them.
I have a deeply personal perspective on things and in order to agree, or disagree, with people’s snap judgments of others, I would have to accept the basic premises that the things they are judging are relevant in the first place. This is not about kindness or compassion, it’s about perspective and frankly, self-absorption. I’m more concerned with evaluating my own merit because I’m the only person I can control.
As I said in my song, Trysticide, “I’d rather be rejected than be worshipped for a lie.”
I never wear foundation – even on stage or shoots. I never straighten, curl or blow-dry my hair. I never wear a bra or stuff to hide my small curves. I never photoshop my body parts, though I have the skills to do so. I express what I feel is true. To me, wearing eye makeup or lipstick is like wearing a beautiful dress; it enhances the natural form. Foundation, ironing hair, creating false curves and photoshopping body parts is covering up something, altering nature’s beauty. I prefer being bare and real, in all my beauty and ugliness. Take me as I am, or don’t.
I have a serious chronic illness which the government believes does not exist. According to the government and CDC, Lyme Disease is curable after 6 weeks of antibiotics, and if you’re still sick after that, you’re mentally ill. Lyme symptoms are listed in the DSM 5. Millions of people suffer from Lyme and Chronic Lyme just in this country, and it is a world-wide epidemic that NO GOVERNMENT covers in single-payer or insurance. I posted a video made by the lyme community below.
People with chronic Lyme have to stay on medications indefinitely. I’ve been on them for 20 years, and if I go off for a month I start to lose mobility, memory, hair, ability to sleep. I can’t focus, can’t make a fist. Within six months I’d be completely crippled, unable to go to the bathroom on my own, like I was before I could get medicated.
I lost my speaking voice forevr and was left with a whisper. Before that I was a professional singer. But due to misdiagnosis and mistreatment by doctors, I lost something I can never get back.
Prior to Obama’s election I spoke out about my worries about Obamacare. All of my worries came to pass – and worse. At the time I could not prove that this would happen, but based on rational guesses from doctors all over the country, my own doctors etc, I had a feeling this would not work out well. I’m not a doctor or an analyst, but I am AFFECTED by this policy.
My healthcare costs have quadrupled since 2008. My medical bills are now about 50k a year out of pocket, and I am still not healthy enough to keep a full time job. I cannot acquire several medications that I could acquire easily in 2007. My insurance closed down due to being unable to afford to stay open due to Obamacare mandates, my new insurance closed down soon for the same reason, and the third does not cover medications I used to get , due to Obamacare mandates.
When I spoke out about my worries, I was mocked, talked down to, told I was stupid and racist by “friends” on the left. Perfectly healthy people, who would not be affected by this policy the way I would. The point is not whether I had “proof,” whether I could argue like a lawyer, or whether I was right or wrong. I understand that I’m not a lawyer, and as an artist my language can be less precise. But my worries were real, and came true. And there was NO EXCUSE for my friends on the left to call me names like that when I was voicing real concerns. And I am a liberal-minded person.. pro-choice, sympathetic to BLM, pro gay marriage.. I used to sing at gay rights and womens’ rights events. So there was no reason for people to accuse me of being racist/sexist/ idiotic or whatever, just because I opposed a policy on the left and was very loud about it *because of how it affects me.*
Some liberals like to talk about privilege. Yet, able-bodied people were, as some liberals call it, “ablesplaining” to a chronically ill person why their concerns about a *health care bill* which could mean life or death for that person, were not real. My own… so called.. friends.
I may have said some over-the-top things about Obama, “libtards,” or other politicians, and my words and actions are entirely my responsibility – but on the other hand, when people treat me this way knowing how much I have suffered – I have …*gasp* … EMOTIONS, and get.. gasp.. *ANGRY.* Yes, I am human, and not a robot! So then it’s easy to corner me and say “You are speaking with your heart instead of about facts,” “You said something out of line,” etc, but really, I felt so alone and disheartened, overlooked, dehumanized and betrayed, what’s to be expected? When a very sick person voices concerns about a healthcare policy and then their “friends” repeatedly silence them and call them racist, they are likely to get angry! BIG shocker!
There is no reason to alienate people like this. Even if I’d ended up being wrong, the complete lack of empathy that I received from many people – people who OFTEN post very charged political posts on their own pages about issues that don’t affect them nearly as directly – was disheartening. For this reason, I doubt I will be voting for any democrat for a very long time; possibly for the rest of my life.
The left – including much of the media, and Hillary Clinton calling Trump voters “deplorables” – encourages, and sets the premise for, this behavior. So I cannot, in good conscience, support them.
And every time I see a post saying something like “Everyone who voted for Trump is a racist, sexist homophobe” – I think to myself, here they go again with the lack of empathy! here they go again calling anyone who opposes them “names” instead of listening. I do agree there is lots of racism, homophobia, sexism etc. backing Trump for those exact reasons, but there are also people who are concerned about their financial and medical well-being, and who are sick of current policies. Not to mention the war policy. Some empathy, and LISTENING, could further the liberal cause much faster than name-calling, ostricization, etc.
— Trump promised long before election that he would keep the laws about pre-existing conditions, so that people who are already sick are not denied insurance. So I know he is maintaining some of the important parts of Obamacare. Your question is excellent but I am not sure if I can answer it yet. Since long before Obamacare, I knew the system needed to change – and none of the republicans were claiming it didn’t. When I wrote posts about my worries, people said republicans “didn’t care about the sick” and “didn’t care about the poor” which was not true. Romney himself wrote a healthcare bill in MA which Obama modeled his ideas on. So I thought that type of response that people often gave, about republicans “not giving a shit,” was divisive and untrue. It felt, to me, motivated more by teamthink than facts and history about republicans who WERE trying to change things, but simply had different ideas about how it should be done. I think we need to move more in the direction of “doctor patient relationship” and away from government involvement. I cannot possibly tell you how much red tape I have to go through to acquire any one of 10-15 prescription medications I have to take every day. I cannot tell you how many times I show up for a procedure and I have to come back another day because some doctor’s order didn’t make it through 5 steps of red tape that have nothing to do with me. I can’t tell you how many hours I have wasted breaking into tears because I couldn’t get through the teleprompts since they didn’t pick up my whispery voice, and I couldn’t get the medications I needed – and once I would FINALLY reach who I needed to reach, then I would be told I can’t get what I need because of red tape, so I should call back tomorrow. I think we do need options for the poor and unemployed to get health care. I don’t think anyone rational – republican or democrat – is complaining about paying slightly higher taxes to help the poor. The complaints are that we are paying higher and higher taxes and health care is still inaccessible to many people. I know that some people benefitted from Obamacare, but it’s simply not enough for more than half the country to feel that they’re paying more and getting worse health care, even if some people benefit. And that is *always* the result of single-payer and government health care in any country. My husband is from Belgium and I have other close friends in other parts of Europe and Canada, and the story is – they don’t cover or acknowledge Chronic Lyme, and people with a variety of illnesses pay high taxes but do not get any coverage, so the rich come to the USA for care (My parents are psychiatrists and we live an hour from NYC and they get patients from Canada who have waited on line for years!!) …. The more government takes over medicine, the more it drives up the costs of private care. So the portion of the population whose illnesses do not fit into a neat checklist, cannot get care. My friend’s mother was recently denied her cancer treatment and died, and she had no problem getting this treatment before O-care. The costs of private treatment soar when the doctors have to hire several lawyers to make sure they won’t get sued for treating their patients adequately, several secretaries to fill out the piles and piles of papers the government requires them to fill out in order to make any decisions, etc. What happens is the doctors cannot make a living this way so they simply turn away complicated patients, and those patients (like me) are left to find an even more expensive specialist. So – does it need to be replaced? Well, the whole system needs to change. Of course there need to be health care options for the poor, for everyone – – but we are accepting the premise that the central government needs to (and will) pay for this. I am not sure why that’s the only solution that some people see. There needs to be care available, but I am not sure if trusting the central government is the answer. If you think of it this way – there are so many people in the USA that we are all , basically, statistics to them. Make things a little more localized (states, maybe?) and you have more personal involvement and less levels of red tape for people who are already sick and suffering, and more likely to be poor because it’s hard to work when you are sick. So I can’t claim to have a perfect answer, but even though I didn’t vote for Trump for other reasons, I am happy with the direction he is going with this. I need to see a little mroe of what he is planning to have a real answer.. right now I’m mostly venting thoughts and rambling. I am interested in articles and sentiments like this which express different viewpoints on how these problems could be addressed, but I’m not educated enough in these fields to claim to have “the answers.” http://aapsonline.org/white-paper-repealreplacement-affordable-care-act/
So, long story short I would say yes – the ACA has thousands of pages of red tape and nonsense, and I would rather get rid of that and start over with a different premise, even if it involves government health plans.
I know people who have benefitted from it too, and I would never want to deny them those benefits. So there has to be some smooth way to transition to another policy that doesn’t drop those who need Obamacare right now, if Trump is to repeal it. I couldn’t agree more.
Policy change will always have some negative consequences for someone somewhere. I hope that whoever is overlooking these changes will see to it that the negative consequences are reduced as much as possible.
I think what’s most crucial is that people behave like you are right now and ask reasonable, thoughtful questions instead of devolving into name calling. Like Phil said, we can only control ourselves. If everyone in the USA would make the effort to hear people out who see things differently – sure, argue their point but at least express empathy and don’t conclude they’re racist/sexist/don’t care about the poor or whatever – then the government will lose its power to play us against each other tit for tat.
Of course we can’t control what everyone does, but we can “be the change we wish to see in the world,” and although I’m not perfect, that is what I try my best to do.
I do not believe that just because someone or something exists, it has value. A person exists because their parents had sex and their mother gave birth. Once someone exists, they have potential, not value. Value comes when you explore, and then actualize, your potential to create something worthwhile.
I don’t believe that I am entitled to anything, nor does anyone have to celebrate me just because I exist. I despise birthdays with a passion. My mother should be celebrated on my birthday if anything, because she gave birth to me on that date and kept me alive for several years when I was utterly helpless. Perhaps my father could be celebrated too. But I don’t see why I deserve presents and prizes just for that. I usually lock myself up alone on my birthday if I can manage, because I find it inauthentic to celebrate me just because I popped out of my mother on that date. I was extremely happy to celebrate finishing my first album, however. I wrote those songs, produced, played several instruments, sang lead through my whisper after losing my hard-earned pro singing voice to an illness. That was an achievement I was happy to celebrate. I still wasn’t conceited about it, and I felt that the other people on the album, and the engineer, and those who contributed financially, and so forth, deserved credit too, and I invited them all to the album release party and told everyone of all the amazing things THEY did. But still, I was proud and happy that I did something that had meaning. That was me actualizing my potential, and thus, bringing something of value into the world. Whether or not someone likes or relates to my music is irrelevant – but I have received notes online from disabled strangers who were inspired by my fight to sing, and that means something. Someone even told me she started doing art again even though she was rapidly losing her vision. Yes, I am proud of that.
And sure, one could argue that I had to believe my music had value and that I would be capable of pulling it all together (it was a HUGE project)…so in that sense perhaps I had to have a sense of worth to begin with. But where did I get that sense of worth? From practicing piano constantly since age 4, taking tons of music lessons and practicing up to 12 hours a day before I got sick, obsessing over every nuance of every composition for years throughout my whole life, etc. I earned that sense of value through my own blood, sweat and tears, as well as the support of my parents in the early years. That is what gives someone a sense of value. Work. Meaning. Blood, sweat and tears. Purpose. Simply existing is meaningless and empty. Look up at the stars. They will tell you just how insignificant you are.
One of my deepest fears is apathy and emotional deadness. I was like that for too long. I became lusty and hungry, a monster who couldn’t love, yet seethed with lust and desire. The only emotion I felt was anger, and there was an abundance of it.
Some people strive to minimize their emotions, but this is not the case for me. I am inspired to face every drop of my pain and overcome. To me, the way out is through.
I don’t run from my emotions. I embrace them, indulge them, work through them. I pore over every emotion, every weakness, every wound, and bring it to the surface to look it in the face. And I conquer. The phoenix becomes more and more and more fiery until finally it explodes in some form of catharsis, release; music, a novel, a workout. Then I am born again, innocent.