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Sex

By Diary No Comments

I love sex and I want it real. Since sex is communication between two people, I don’t go in with expectations. I let the dynamic develop on its own. I yearn to devour every corner of my lover’s mind, heart, and body, and for him to devour mine, until there is nothing left of us but sweat, nails, and thrusts, and we don’t know who is who anymore. The specific style can vary, depending on the dynamic between us.

During sex, I explore the dreams of my lover. I derive immense pleasure from sharing his fantasies, becoming part of them, taking them on as my own. I hunger to immerse myself in his deepest yearnings, and discover the most human, naked parts of his psyche as they play out in the bedroom. At best, I would be a vessel through which his passions emerge.

As for my own fantasies, I want no toys, BDSM rules, or roles. I yearn to fight for dominance, but be overpowered by raw strength; to succumb to the force of lust, limbs, and bare limbs. When I am completely overpowered, I feel truly vulnerable.. and there is nothing more invigorating.

I yearn to lose control, to forget all notions of power, to unravel myself in the throes of catharsis. But in order to do so, I need to know my lover is fully present, and would protect me at all costs. If he is half-hearted, I cannot trust him enough to lose myself entirely. At least a small part of me would remain on guard.