We visited an old bizarre huge castle and they said we could live there. There were many rooms, and we didn’t have much stuff – we agreed right away. We looked around through all the vast twists to find endless rooms, one after another, all hidden in corners of each other, twisting around back to each other. We were negotiating with some other people who kept changing their minds. We would say “sure this room is good” then they would say “We want that. What about this” And we would say Yes! But then they would change their minds again. We didn’t care. We were just excited to be able to run around this cool place. Though Kilian, smart as he is, was a bit iffy about the people.

Somehow we ended up coming across some pets that belonged to someone before. They were between cat and rodent-sized, but much smarter, cuter and more cunning than rodents. They ran free through the castle and the outside. One of them was ours to watch over; of course I was happy to because it was the cutest one and it was wild and couldn’t be contained, but it liked me. It would run around then climb and jump on me and purr.

Then one day, some gorgeous, very seductive guy came around out of nowhere. He found me hanging out with a bunch of people, including Kilian, and immediately took an interest in me. I blew it off but was also dubious because, why would a guy that gorgeous zero in on me out of all people while I am married? Usually Kilian is the one to notice there’s something not right with people, but the fastest way to clue ME in that you’re crazy is to tell me I’m beautiful. Of course on some deep base instinctual level, I was flattered that his whole demeanor changed around me, but I also started feeling uncomfortable. I didn’t want him, I only want Kilian, but he was very seductive and I sensed he would try many angles and possibly pull at my heartstrings or get passion-crimey.

He left, and Kilian and I talked about what to do about it, whether we should leave etc. We were going down to some glamorous costume dance, and then someone came and tried to slyly steal my pet, but the pet ran away too fast and then came to me.

Someone else suspected they were trying to take my pet and I should bring it to the dance and hide it. So I held it the whole time, and it was a wild thing, thrashing around, until I pet it and told it that I would let it run wild later , I was just protecting it. It listened to me, but it would start flipping out at anyone else holding it.

Then really weird things started to happen. As we went down all these elevators, we passed not only weird shady people in costumes but also huge felines (but no tigers). I realized these felines wanted my pet and I started heading back upstairs to hide it somewhere so I wasn’t just holding it with nothing and it wouldn’t thrash around and get itself killed. Kilian came with me at first, and then we were running around, passing the pet back and forth, going in different rooms to try to divert these people.

Then the gorgeous guy got me when I was alone and started his whole seduction dance. At this point I was completely onto him, no flattery or human emotions would work on me. I asked him why they wanted my pet and he said that pet was powerful and had something they wanted. I asked if it involved killing it and he gave me some kind of cryptic answer like “transformation is necessary for the growth of the world.” The thing is, outside my convos with Kilian this whole dream was in another language (not one that I know right now, but I did in the dream) and so I can’t translate directly what was said.

The guy told me in a kind of evil voice that I needed to go to the dance with him. Somehow I knew that meant I needed to do that or else really bad things might happen, like someone would die. I found Kilian and communicated the whole problem with my eyes while simply saying “I’m going with him. Watch the pet.” Kilian knew this was life or death and not me rejecting him, so he was not angry, but he was not sure if this was the best way to solve the problem. Still we both reluctantly agreed (without words) and he left.

It may not have been the best solution. I asked the guy at some point if he really wanted me or he wanted my pet, and he said in so many words (in his language) that he falls madly in love with who he needs to fall in love with. In other words, he wanted me very genuinely but he had also decided initially that I was the person he needed to want (probably because the pet responded to me). 

I didn’t dance with him. I just kept grilling him with questions about himself, which seemed to be turning him on although that was not the goal; I wanted information. A few times, walking around with him, I saw Kilian.. and they were doing awful things to him. His posture was fucked up, his face contorted. Each time, I looked at him to show him I still loved him and I was going to try to solve this, and he looked back saying he knows.. and we should keep trying. But it got so bad that when I saw him the last time, he wouldn’t even look at me out of shame for what they had done to him. It wasn’t a matter of them ‘beating him up’ or JUST doing physical things, it was more that his body reacted to some psychological mind-fucks. The gorgeous guy was clearly trying to do that to me as well, and he might have succeeded to some degree, though I never got to find out what I looked like. Things made increasingly less sense and I was a ball of emotions – rage, worry, fury, guilt and on and on.. the guy was not seducing me directly but he was doing a number on me.

Then he woke me up and I had to do a few double takes. Was it Kilian or that other guy. Thankfully it was Kilian.


Author Erii

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