At first, I was superwoman. (I want to add that I have never seen the movie “superman,” but i have been told by a few of my friends that Lenny is my kryptonite, my weakness.) So… I was flying around, and there was some big scandal in Nyack- except it took place in the future, so Nyack was all florescent. Where Turiellos was, now there was a kind of playground, with tubes and wires, and a singer on a pedestal (the singer from Mulhulland drive who sang in Spanish- sang that same song in English when i approached). A lot of the audience members wore white face-out, and some of them were deformed underneath.. you could tell if you looked really carefully. They wore white makeup to look gothic rather than deformed. Also, there were a lot of people dressed up with weird clothes or crazy makeup.

Meanwhile… there was some kind of scandal in Nyack. I had passed by that “playground” expecting to see Turiellos, cuz i hadn’t seen Nyack in so long. I had a glass vile around my neck, hanging from a chain. Then, somehow my brain sent me a strong message. I just KNEW that i had to chase one of the audience members- an Indian woman in a glamourous, bright-colored Indian dress with gems on her face and heavy black eye makeup- and get her back to somewhere alive. I was sitting on top of the monkey bars; I had swung myself up from underneath to watch the show. I pretended to be watching the singer (and found it very hard not to)… but kept one eye on the Indian woman. She was beautiful, thin with wide eyes. And she was sitting with one of the girls who used to party with the “Blauvelt” crowd. I don’t remember now who she was, but in the dream i recognized her from that time period.

So eventually the Indian woman must have sensed me watching her, and she slipped away. I slipped off after her. There was a chase.. she was just running, but i was leaping and flying like i always do in my dreams. At the beginning of the dream I had not understood why i was sent to chase this woman; i just knew i had to. But now i realized i did indeed have super powers. I hated it, i wanted to just stay there and watch the singer… but I had to chase this beautiful woman. I chased her up fire escapes, across roofs. The message in my head had told me to slip her a sip of the liquid from the vile around my neck. This liquid would make her fall asleep, and I would take her to whoever was in charge of me.

Finally, she was on a roof, and I leaped up on the fire escape and waited. She had no other way to get down, cuz she couldn’t fly. But then that girl from Blauvelt called me from below. I didn’t look down until she said, “Lenny doesn’t love you!” then my insides started screaming. It was like my muscles were oozing out into my blood or something. I could actually hear my body parts creaking. I couldn’t believe the physical reaction was so strong. she said, “Lenny is beautiful” or something, and all my vision was foggy. I didn’t even know where I was anymore. I had been hanging off the fire escape.. but I climbed on and stayed there on my knees, crying, trying to get my body to stop screaming. I have only felt this helpless after surgery, coming off anesthesia. It was overwhelming pain, misery, confusion… and it was all physical. The only thought in my mind was Lenny.

By the time i looked up, the Indian woman was down below, getting into a car with the girl from Blauvelt. I figured that the Indian woman had climbed right over me on the fire escape while I was delirious and pathetic. I was angry at myself for being so weak, but I couldn’t help it… it wasn’t my brain, it was my whole fucking body. I wondered if that was part of being » a superhero- that my emotions got blown out of proportion as well as my physical strengths.

So then, I had to go to a college campus, and stay there pretending to be a student, so I could stalk some professor or something. I wasn’t sure yet what the assignment was going to be. I had a roommate- a black girl, too skinny and a little awkward, with some intense air about her. We went for a walk around campus, and she took a glass vile out of her pocket to put it around her neck on a chain. I asked her where it came from, and she asked where mine came from. I realized mine was around my neck, even though I thought I wasn’t wearing it. I told her that I honestly had no idea where it came from, but I assumed it meant we were both at that college for the same reason. She said yes, this was her second assignment, she was new to it, but she had recently been summoned subliminally to do this superhero thing. I asked her if she had a weakness, and she told me about a boy she was obsessed with who went to that school. She pointed him out to me. He was a thin white boy with glasses and spiked hair; kind of a weasley version of Arin.

The girl seemed a little insane, but it was nice to know that someone else had these strange powers. For once I felt like I could be young again, instead of having such a heavy responsibility. We walked around the school being silly, in our pajamas or whatever. Then, one day at dinner, she saw her boy with another girl. She ran off in a craze. I went back to the room, and when she got there, she was shaking. She told me she had left her vile in his room under a burning candle, and turned the liquid inside into kerosine (remember, we could do this stuff cuz we had special powers). She said his room would burn down when the candle ran out, and the candle was short, so we had to get out of the building (cuz it was a big dorm building, and h e was in the same one as us.) I wasn’t sure if she was serious, cuz she was always a little crazy, so I laughed, and said, “you burned his room down? Nice work!” …But she was totally shaken. She said she had broken her vile all over the floor, blabla. She tried to rush me out of the room, and i allowed her to pull me down the hall.. but when we got outside, we were barefoot and the ground was cold. I insisted on us going upstairs to get our slippers, and she told me to leave my vile in the room in case they found hers, so I wouldnt get in trouble for having it on me. I hid the vile in our shoe holder, inside a pair of shoes, and as I stuffed it in, the fire alarm went off.

I can still remember that loud sound.. eeeh eeeh eeeh. And the complete fear. It was that panic you get when you hear the obnoxious, repetitive beep of a fire alarm, except with the added guilt of realizing that ∏ I could have prevented it. She was telling the truth, and I couldnt laugh about it anymore. We ran outside, and the fire alarm was beeping. Everyone from the building was standing outside, scattered around, watching the building. We couldnt see the fire from our side. My skinny superhero friend was running around in circles; she was totally insane, out of control. Finally, she said, “I have to go, I cant be here now..” and she ran off. I stood there, worried sick, wondering if she was going to disappear and leave the blame on me, or if she was going to tell the authorities that i had encouraged her to do it by laughing, or what. I couldnt believe I’d gone along with it.. but i just hadnt taken her seriously. All these thoughts were running thru my head, when the president of the college got up on the fire escape and started a speech.. He said “the fire is out. But we found a broken vile on the floor. If any of you-”

And then someone came  out of the building, and stood next to the president. It was a short white girl with straight brown hair. She wore sunglasses and a black trench coat. And then, she spoke in a man’s voice! This man’s voice coming out of this tiny white girl assured me that it was my skinny black friend in disguise. She had used her superpowers to look and sound like that. It was the only explanation for this- and i just KNEW it was her. She said, in a man’s voice, “i did it for love. I only wanted to burn his room. I did not think about the consequences. I failed to realize that his room is connected to the rest of the building. I have affected too many people. I will pay for my mistake.” Or something like that. But all of this was said in a flat, man’s voice. I didn’t know what she was trying to pull.

While the other kids were gasping about the weirdness of this girl-with-man’s-voice, I was kind of relieved, because at least she was honest, not running around in circles, and as much “ as I hated to think it- at least i wasnt going to be blamed. Then I started to question the whole superpower thing. I was wondering if there was some way I could escape being a superhero, and just be an ordinary person. I thought it would make things so much easier. After all, our emotions were too powerful and they took control of our actions, so we couldn’t even think. What scared me the most was that I thought- it could have been me. I could have been the one to burn down the building. If my body lost control at the mention of Lenny’s name, what would stop me from doing something so completely insane? I knew I would have given up all my powers just to calm the fuck down.

I stood there, with all this commotion around me, and my mind went like a camera in a movie to that vile inside the shoe in my dorm room. The last thing I saw as I woke up was a zoom-in shot, zooming towards that vile…


Author Erii

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