Destruction

By September 25, 2001Poetry

destruction of a dream…. “I just wanted to destroy something beautiful” -fight club
destruction is not possible without creation and creation can not exist without destruction
i want to twist a human neck around so i can feel the folds of skin clutching the tips of my fingers, up against my nail stubs. i want to feel flesh surrounding myknuckles. i want to dig into a human face and squeeze the eyeballs just to know what the insides of an eyeball would feel like. i want to squirt blood and splash around in it on a cold day. i want to paint with human intestines. i want to chew a vein and slobber so there is blue blood dripping down my lips. i want to kick either side of a human head, smash in towards the ears until it explodes and makes a squishy noise. i want to stick my tongue behind a pair of front teeth and pull until they pop out, so i can hear the crunch. i’d sample all the sounds of human destruction and write them into a drum beat. then i would sing over the beat, just to enforce my point. sing. destroy. create something beautiful manifested into the sounds, the movements, the voice of destruction.
if destruction had a voice, it would be mine. 
if death could speak, it would sound the way i sound. 
i want to hear it all around me. i want to take the rest of the world with me. i want my music to show people what silence tastes like. let them lick their lips and swallow their shadows.
everybody has one. step into the fucking light. why do you think i only come out at night? i see too many shadows without help from the blazing ball of fire that crosses our horizon every morning and makes colors brighter. my vision is saturated and my fingers are melting every time i hear the soft sound of a piano. it strangles me like the kick of a man who beats the shit out of me after sex. i know he’s just doing it because i made him love me. it’s always my fault. i only love for the sake of creation, so what can i expect? 

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